Nothing lasts forever.
I am in my final week here in Washington DC. I never thought four years ago that I’d be saying goodbye. This has not been an easy process, but I’ve learned that pain is teacher. Everything that enters into our lives does so for a reason. In reality, nothing on this plane of existence lasts forever. Our bodies are in a constant state of decay. Relationships end. Jobs end. Life ends. We are constantly faced with closure. One of the things I’ve allowed myself to do over the past few days is to soften into the awareness of impermanence. Many of us try to stop the shifting that is happening around us and we cling to what no longer is, and in turn this causes us to suffer. It also causes many to harden to life. “I’m refusing to let myself be hurt again”, “Love sucks”, “Better this than nothing” and we feed ourselves a plethora of excuses to get us out of just being present with the death current.
When we soften to what is right in front of us we get to be with all of it. When we allow our hearts to soften, we can love all of it. Yesterday as I was walking around DC I was noticing things with a different clarity. I allowed myself to love all of what I was seeing, experiencing and noticing. Now that I am leaving this area and will no longer be a resident, my time here is in the death current. Rather than clinging to what no longer is, and not projecting into some imagined future, I let myself be with all of it. I got on the an escalator that I’ve taken many times over the past four years, and for a moment I loved that escalator (sound silly, I know), but I was noticing something that I have taken for granted over the past four years. Something as simple as an escalator, when fully noticed, can crack you open to the “now”.
One of the things I am trying to do more of is to invite a gentle awareness of impermanence into all that I do. It has allowed me to deepen my friendships, to taste life a little differently, and to not take for granted what is right in front of me. I am learning to love all of it. Even the pain. Pain reminds us what it is like to feel, and like impermanence it is also part of life. I am not saying that we need to go around and fear that at any moment everything can be taken away from us (but in reality it can). When we soften to this reality, we get to really appreciate where we are, now. What is right in front of you, in this moment is all that really exists. The past no longer is here, the future is just a figment of your imagination, what is here and now is all that is. The eternal now. Shifting our awareness to being with all of it is a powerful tool for transformation.
Many of us spend a lot of time looking for closure. We need validation that things are in the final throes. Closure is not something we get from an external source. In a relationship that is ending, looking for closure is just keeping necessary doors open. I find that true closure is just being able to say “thank you” to the entirety of the experience. Thank you to the joy, thank you to the pain, thank you to all of it. Thanking our pain is not easy, thanking the experience might be even tougher, but hating it doesn’t change it either. This is not something that we just rush into, but this also comes from the space of softening our hearts and opening to love.
So, I’ve rambled on enough. I promise to post with more frequency now that the move is happening.
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You are Loved.
You are Beautiful
You are Divine.